i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
