i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
