ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
