i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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