I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
