He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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