I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
third nipple confirmed
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
