What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would ride that face into the sunset
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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