how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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