I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize