1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
