Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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