Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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