school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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