How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
