i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
