Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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