i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
