And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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