Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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