we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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