shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
