she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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