HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
