I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They took my balls.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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