These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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