Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my being single is dangerous.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
