Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sober January is a disaster.
Dignity is for republicans.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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