this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
