i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
