fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You smell like stripper and shame
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
