Kiss
Puke
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
