bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
