I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
