i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
