You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
