I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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