dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize