Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
