I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
