I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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