I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
