So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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