You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
