She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ketchup is God's man juice
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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