my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize