"it" just moved
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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