The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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