rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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