what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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