i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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