I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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