her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
