my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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