i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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