Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
