You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
