return my video game
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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