Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
