We're facebook friends in real life
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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