new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have fence marks all over my body
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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