im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
