Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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