just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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