this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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