The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
