You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
